Be true to yourself and follow your heart

4.13.07

mournfulbliss — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:24:25 +0000

I’m not so great with the blogging/message board thing. I always forget to actually post, and i always get side-tracked. It wasn’t until i was looking at my “Invisible Man” book with angst thinking to myself that i have to write ANOTHER paper this week that my train of thought led me here.

I swear i feel exactly like John Self sometimes. For example, this forgetful blogging habit of mine. I’m not sure if its my fault or if it the new psycho meds i was put on. It’s a little sick how i identify with Self. Not on the terms of drinking and all, but the whole all over the place attitude. I’m not ashamed to mention that i am using my resources here at Temple, and see a therapist on campus…which perhaps Self should have done, but the fact that i first opened “money” hours before a therapy session and saw the subtitle, “A Suicide Note” intrigued me. In fact my therapist and i got into a lengthy discussion about this book. On page 9, in particular Self says, “You know, I wouldn’t have done this a month ago. I wouldn’t have done it then. Then i was avoiding. Now I’m just waiting. Things happen to me. They do. They just have to go ahead and happen. You watch –you wait…”. Now, this rather lethargic attitude made me question a lot about myself. It was funny how my therapist and i were just talking about this one passage and how my life related so much to it. It’s almost as if, John Self was a part of mySelf. That maybe it was me who should have written this story. Then i thought to myself the brilliance of Amis to name the character John Self. Think about it, anyone who is un-identified or has no ID upon death is names John Doe. I would love to know if John Self was really John Doe in a earlier version of this novel. Then to identify with his readers Amis had that little light bulb pop up over his head and was like, “How about i add myself into this…oh i know John SELF”. Eureka, a character was born. Or in my case, I was put into this novel, as if to read my own “Suicide Note”.

I’m dramatic. It’s an art i’ve perfected. If you look at the little blurb before the first page where he describes the subtitle, you can see a little of me in there, right there in the word exist. Because unlike John Self, I do exist in real life, and ironically i am reading a little about myself, and learning exactly what i look like from the inside.

mournfulbliss — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:25:15 +0000

Whilst reading I find myself spinning a whirlwind of thoughts regarding comparisons. I have this fascination with connecting EVERYTHING. I was thinking about the way our class is structured, by means of the books that we are to read for class, and began to look back at “Bartleby”. In my mind i’m comparing the lawyer from Bartleby with the invisible man.

The first comparison I noticed was that they are both nameless, which in my opinion makes their stories even more impressive. By not having true idenities for us to relate to, we are forced to imagine them as someone we might know, or would want to know. Therefore we get more out of what they are saying and doing.

Another thing in common is that they are both trying to teach something. The lawyer wants to teach Bartleby to not be so agrophobic by moving his office. The invisible man teaches its readers various lessons of what life is like when your not white.

It’s obvious that i’ve only scratched the surface here, and i thought i would just share these thoughts with you.

what a jump

mournfulbliss — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:00:48 +0000

wow. I actually just finished Bartlebyin one sitting and wow…that was a huge jump from Charlotte Temple. Just thought i’d comment about that before i actually write my critical analysis post.

EDIT: I know it took me forever to post. I’m sure we all know how crazy a week of tests can get. However, i’ve been mulling over Bartleby, and who was responsible for him. I know that the lawyer did hire him, and ended up firing him, so that would lead me to believe that after firing him the lawyer basically terminated any responsibility for him. However, while in Barnes & Noble tonight, the fact that Bartleby still livedin his office struck me. Even if the lawyer fired him and that forfeits his responsibility for bartleby, but considering that the lawyer still owned the office that bartleby was living in then by the circumstances he did own resposonsibility for him. Then a better question arose in my mind. After the lawyer moves his office…does he sell or rent out that space to the new lawyer? That i think will solve the mystery of who was responsible for barltleby.

Charlotte Temple – The End

mournfulbliss — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:45:36 +0000

As i was finishing the last few chapters in the novel yesterday evening after our discussion i was repeating a certain tune in my mind. I think instead of describing it, i’ll just let you use you feeling instead. For this to work you need to read the lyrics with your heart, then play the video, but close your eyes and just listen to it with Charlotte in mind.

The Blower’s Daughter By: Damien Rice

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky 

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes... 

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most...of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial 

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes... 

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind? 

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...

 'Til I find somebody else

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Les27Xcc6Ag

Charlotte Temple: The Beginnings

mournfulbliss — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 02:06:39 +0000

I spent some time before I decided to write my journal looking at what other people in the class were thinking. Like a fellow classmate, I focused a little bit on the author written preface. I agree with her as well, as she says, “Before even reading a single line of the novel, we are lead to believe that Rowson is genuine and not looking for any kind of fame or success from this novel. ” I asked her if she thought that Rowson did this to gain a little more sympathy for the characters in this novel, and i think we both agree that she uses the preface to help enhance the story.

I must confess i was not all that familiar with the term “patriarchal”, and went striaght to webster and shortly after concluded it to be the “man’s world”. Again, i would have to agree that Rowson is writing in a man’s world, and needed something to dignify herself from other authors. She states in the preface, “…I wrote with a mind anxious for the happiness of that sex whose morals and conduct have so powerful an influence on mankind in general; and convinced that I have now wrote a line that conveys a wrong ideas to the head or a corrupt wish to the heart…” (second to last paragraph in the preface). I feel as if she is trying to distinguish herself, or rather explain herself before we even have a cance to experience what she has written. I again agree with Lindsay’s statement that she isn’t necassarily trying to recieve fame and fortune from this novel, but i feel as though she really wants us to have a pre-dispostioned view of her intrepetation of the novel before we even have a chance to consider it for ourselves.

This made me think about the discussion we had on “what is literature”, and some criticisms of literature. I remember somewhere along the line someone mentioning that literature and its interpretation has nothing to do with the author. Forgive me if i butchered that…please if you remember saying something like that or remember it being said…please comment me the CORRECT thing that was said. But anyway, i feel as though we are being told how to think by Rowson. I’m a little more than half way through the novel itself and i find myself constantly being brought back to a sympathetic feeling for Charolette herself. In chapter 2-5 we are given a sort of background. I was a little confused at first when reading of why were were being told someone else’s background. In fact i think my ignornace has led to ask, “What relationship does Mr. Eldridge have with Mr. Temple and Charolette?”

I am open to any feedback. In fact, i BEG you to comment, and please let me know if you know what the relationship is between Mr. Eldridge and Mr. Temple and Charolette. I think it will help my understanding of the novel better.